I'm going to jail i love you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize