How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
