That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
