Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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