I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize