Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
