Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
