i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
