the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
