so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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