Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
MIDGETS
????
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
