if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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