Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
