I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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