dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
