she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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