I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is Oprah even human
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i think i just lost a toe
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
