I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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