Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
