super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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