in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
