yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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