Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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