You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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