O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
