the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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