Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.