Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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