You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
