i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
