Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize