that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I could make wine with my vomit
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
