i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want to make out with him forever
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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