Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
