Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
