get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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