if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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