Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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