He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
