Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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