shes about as inviting as chlamydia
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
