it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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