You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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