is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize