Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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