Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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