I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
