dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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