we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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