I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
