he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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