why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
