I think I died a long time ago.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
