Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
