It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
