I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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