just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
