if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
