Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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