There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
