all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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