Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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