hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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